Common Sense: Time to put on those ‘big boy shorts’
By Larry Crawford February 19, 2013 7:18PM
Updated: March 21, 2013 6:05AM
During one of our frequent man talks, the subject of underwear design came up. It followed an examination of the cliche, ‘It’s time to put on your big boy shorts.’ This led some interesting questions and discussion.
The cliche’s obvious historical meaning suggests it is time to quit pouting about the realities of life. It is a cute and kinder way of saying “it’s time to grow up, kiddo!”
On a more practical note, just what are big boy shorts? I know the diaper came prior, but I can only remember training pants. Training pants were great! I just lowered them and did whatever my business was. Sometimes I missed the mark but eventually learned to be more consistent and accurate. Life was great! I had helped mom and dad and big sibs move beyond the messy, stinky diaper stage.
And then … then came the briefs … the “big boy shorts.” Having four older brothers, this was an exciting rite of passage. I had noticed there was a difference between the design of their shorts and mine. My training pants didn’t have that strange design or compartment in the front. They were just plain and practical. Yet, I strangely anticipated the day I would graduate into big boy shorts.
The day ultimately arrived. There was no fanfare, no ceremony, no nothing that I recall. I think it might have been one of those after-the-bath moments. The briefs were placed in my hand and I put them on!
Of course, they were not new, but they were clean! And they had that strange compartment.
Nobody gave me any instructions so I would know how to use my big boy shorts. I was left to figure it out on my own. Surely that little compartment was supposed to be used for my business. I didn’t think about it until the “business” came up. In typical little boy fashion I waited until I really needed to go. I rushed into the restroom, and before I was able to figure out how to get through the little access compartment, I had wet all over myself.
It took a few trips to figure out on my own that I was going to keep on doing what worked for me and to this day I still use the training pants technique. I have not yet learned why that compartment is on men’s briefs.
It has taken a lot of years, but that compartment is slowly disappearing. I guess it as typical as many other trends. We too often choose what is popular even though it may not be practical, logical, or right.
Make sure you handle your business right!
Larry Crawford can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org